Shades of My Monotonous Life
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
contrast. @
1:09 AM
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I bet you're wondering why i even start blogging.
AND even I, myself, have no idea why.
Why monotonous? cause my freaking life is like a written book, it'll never change no matter how many times you read it, the ending will forever be the same. Face it.
A routine that never breaks out of its endless chains of events.
I guess.. if you knew me well enough, you might say, i've a personality disorder.
Now that im here, all smiley and happy.. is a big contrast as compared to what i am back then? Hell yea. Everything seem to change, on the outside of course but nothing's changed on the inside. I'm still the guy who would "emo". You just don't get to see them now because I don't show them as much as i did (as far as i know, i tried. so if i revealed them then fuck it, live with it), you don't need superpowers to see it.
And bro, somehow your words kinda hit me right inside. You said:" you would sacrifice anything for her". Even if everyone in the world agrees with you, i never believed for once that sacrifice is love.
I'm not referring to "sacrifice my time, give in to her and etc" - not that type of sacrifice. But to the extend that I've to change my life, to be at their beck and call. Dont even bother promising that you'll be there for her when she needs you. Dont give promises you can't make. Face it, not everyone can keep their promises.
"If you change for a person you love, because you want them to feel happy, you want them to have everything.. you'll realize you're no longer the one he/she love, after all a relationship requires both parties to put in effort. Right from the beginning, she fell in love with the person you're, not what you've to be to please her."
Well, debatable right? At the end of the day, it is what makes you happy that matters.
It was never about what you want, its about who you are.
Don't get the wrong idea. If you change for the better, good for you.
Find someone who accepts the way you are. Generally, nothing ever lasts. I'm dead serious. If you're my friend today, it doesn't mean 20 years down the road, we'll still be friends. You have your own life, i have mine, and one day, we might no longer have any thing in common.
The harsh world.
Believe it or not.
I know.. it doesn't apply to everyone, but that's a cold hard fact. that's the shit we have to eat everyday. But if you happen to believe that the world became a better place to live in, fuck them all. People do change, so does the surrounding.
As you're growing up, everything in your surrounding grows old with you.
do the things that make you happy,
after all life is short.
p.s. I never told you guys the reason why we broke up. And FGS, if you think its because of the late replies, never-meet-up often, its a damn lame excuse for a break up. So ultimately, that was never a problem that came between us. you'll only understand this when you're with someone who is working alongside with you, and for the million times we quarrel and argue over work. Hell yes, we cannot work well. And somehow or rather, it affected our relationship. Nothing about professionalism, its the way of life. Can't imagine? try picturing a couple throwing hurtful words at one another. I guess that's how the "i-dont-care-what-or-how-are-you-doing-right-now" attitude, that naturally form above a possibly "loving relationship" we once had.
